I apologize in advance for my writing style. It is meant to captivate, however the free flow is more appealing. I may not use fancy words, or correct punctuations at all times, but please don’t crucify me. I hope this blog can help us both. Connection is key.
Tuesday March twenty first twenty twenty six is my new sobriety date. I should state I have been sober before. Yes, I am a failure. If you don’t fail in life, are you really living? This is my third attempt at sobriety. The first time was my longest, lasting 2 years. The second stab lasted a short eleven months. Addiction is a B*tch. American Addiction Centers states between forty to sixty percent of people relapse within their first year. However, if you reach the one year mark, your odds of continued abstinence increase to fifty percent. Those odds seem favorable, yet here we are starting over from scratch. The life altering positions I’ve been in, directly relating to alcohol, is astonishing. So many times, one event after another, should have been a wake up call. A holy sh*t moment where I realize I skirted death and should start anew. More stories to come on that later. Whatever your poison is, I hope you find peace.
Grief, also something that should be discussed more. If you are still getting calls from both your parents, consider yourself lucky. Losing a parent, spouse, best friend, child, even an animal can be detrimental to your life. Especially your sobriety. The National Institutes of Health declare survivors of sudden, traumatic losses report significantly higher rates of substance use to cope compared to those who experienced natural or no losses. I know all too well that substances can distort the natural grieving process. I numbed for three years after my mothers death, thinking alcohol might temporarily distract from the emotional pain. It created nothing but isolation, deepening depression, and weight gain. Even with therapy, coping with grief can feel unobtainable. They say time heals all wounds, I’m still waiting.
The importance of Mental health is more prevalent these days, and for that I am grateful. According to National Alliance on Mental Illness over one in five U.S. adults experience mental illness every year. Having experience with one type, I can tell you first hand, the severity can be uncanny. Each trip to the hospital was worse than the last. It left me learning more about human kind than I could have encountered on my own in the world. Terrifying and gratifying all at the same time.
These topics beg the question….Is This Forever?
Will sobriety, grief, and mental illness last forever?
Does anything REALLY last forever?